The Humble Housewife 2008 Virtual Book Tour

Sweet Georgia Brown
Cheryl Robinson
NAL Trade, January 2, 2008
$13.95 US; ISBN: 0451222288

Meet Georgia Brown-a humble housewife determined to become a household name….

After eleven years of marriage, Georgia Brown is fed up with her husband, Marvin, a popular radio personality. It’s not just because she suspects he’s having an affair, or because she’s suddenly expected to raise his thirteen-year-old daughter, Chloe-whom she never even knew existed. It’s because of the comments he makes about her weight, their marriage, and their sex life…on national radio! Now, to save their marriage, Marvin invites Georgia to the station for an on-air rebuttal . . . .

I was invited today to participate in the SWEET GEORGIA BROWN: Humble Housewife 2008 Virtual Book Tour. Cheryl Robinson, the author of this exciting new release has me the question, “If I was in her humble housewife, Georgia Brown’s shoes, what would my on-air rebuttal be?”

As I walk into the studio, looking fierce and oh so fine in my fire engine red Donna Karan suit (to match my flaming temper) and my three inch Jimmy Choo stilettos, I smile sweetly at Marvin, giving him no indication of what's about to go down. He has no idea that I'm secretly videotaping this meeting, and that it will be broadcast live on the local television station, but also the world wide web. To borrow a phrase, payback is a bitch in high heels, and I'm about to do a tap dance all over Marvelous Marvin.

"Hi Marvin", I reply to his sickeningly sweet greeting. Not there to waste any time with niceties or idle chit chat, I tell Marvin, "Let's get this show on the road." Before he can even reply, I reach over and flip the switch that will put us on the air.

"Welcome back to the morning show with Marvelous Marvin", states Marvin. "Today's guest is none other than my wife Georgia, who is looking unusually beautiful....."

Not even giving Marvin a chance to complete his usual spiel, I angrily butt in, "You know Marvin, I realize that success and ratings are important to you, but how DARE you use me as the butt of your jokes just to get your ratings up? Is your success so important to you that you feel the need to belittle me daily to millions of listeners? Me, the one who believed in you when you were nothing? Me, the one who was there to encourage you every step of the way, even letting you lay up on your ass daily, not working while I did just to be able to have a little money in our pocket? Me, who stuck by you when after we lost everything, we had to resort to living with your parents and having to drive a beat up old car that was one step from being a Flintstone foot mobile?"

By now, Marvin is looking like a deer caught in the headlights. He can't believe that the normally sweet Georgia Brown is standing up to him.

"Why so quiet Marvelous Marvin?", I ask with disdain in my voice. "Why don't you tell your fans how your 13 year old daughter, who is not my child, was unceremoniously dropped off on our doorstep for us, well rather me, to raise because nothing is more important to Marvin than Marvin?" "Why don't you tell everyone how when you come home, that is if you decide to come home, that's it's so late, your boys never see you anymore?"

"Look at you, sitting there with your mouth all open. Close it Marvin, before the fleas that follow your doggish behind take up residence." "I bet you thought I was going to come on her and be all meek and mild like I normally am, and let you continue to blow smoke up my butt and make a fool out of even more?? I don't think so. "

"I've put up with you and your trifling, cheating, not even great in bed self for years, but now I'm done. There is no saving this marriage. "

"Oh, and just so you know," I state with a wicked gleam in my eye and evil grin on my face, "this little pin I have on my suit, ain't just a decorative piece of jewelry. It's actually a hidden camera, and this little tete a tete, my dear, sweet husband, has been broadcast not only on the local radio and television station, but also all over the world wide web. What do you have to say now?"

The rest of the morning crew is cracking up, and the phones are ringing off the hook. I remove the pin from my suit, I take it and hold it out in front of me, smile big and run it from the top of my head down to my feet, then say, "You see all of this? This is what your boy HAD at home that he was dogging out."

"Now who's the fool?", I ask as I not so subtly turn and walk away, with a little extra swing in my hips, and a feeling of satisfaction deep in my soul. Tomorrow, I'll ask for forgiveness and start the process of moving on with my life, but just for today, I couldn't resist the taste of revenge.